Flipping through the pages of my diary

I'm taking over your habits Since the day you've left  Like cigarettes left untouched in my trousers  Like sleeping with three pillows, with one on my face Like sketching naked bodies Like screaming my lungs out when a random song plays Like clicking on youtube ads and reporting them unnecessarily  Weirdly i am doing it all Weirdly i am not even aware of that How are you?  How am i? If you only ask, then i'll say, its blue, its blue here, and little grey too as the smoke doesn't leave my room, probably because i forgot to open the windows before i lit my cigarette I'm ordering food from swiggy at midnight, i am still awake and it's 3. Life is unstable, but i am fine.  Chucked my old car keys Swallowed chunks of bread with milk Wore the tshirt you gave me Listened to the playlist we made Forgot to tie my shoe laces I fell hard on ground  Weird falling patterns  Resembling to yours Diaries all inked Friendship bands in bin Promises rotting in a corner Days passing

It's over not means its the end, but rather completion, our story is complete now. I'm letting go of us and someday we will turn back to see how beautifully we are still carved in all our yesterdays, in all of our pasts. Y ou'll be my soothing memory on a tough day.                — goodbye  There are some things not meant for you, stop holding onto them so tightly, let them go back from where they came. Let everything be at peace. Dont force anything.  I'll let us go now. Somedays i am hearing us on the audios Somedays i am passing by our lanes Somedays i am hearing your name being called by a random stranger Somedays i am watching our pictures Somedays i am hating over us Somedays i am forgiving us  Somedays i am hoping that you'll call Somedays i am done with all of this nonsense with my luggage all packed, i'm ready to leave Somedays i am texting you hi, only to save it in drafts Somedays i am wondering why still your chapter is my favorite  Somedays i am as

You asked me, " who am i to you ? "  i asked myself for days, weeks, and months  who are you to me? You are a forgotten song's name with broken lyrics that i remember, you are that letter in my draft because i never knew how to end it, you are all those 206 voice recordings in my phone that makes my storage full but i still don't delete, you are that weird me because i feel we are similar, you are that lane that still welcomes me warmly despite of being strangers, you are that benchmate who doesn't talk much but still passes a smile back to me, you are that excitement of knowing classes have been canceled, you are that random thought of why we met and that one question to wonder, how life would have been if we hadn't met each other, you are my longings on a night when i dial your phone number but don't call, you are that one percent probability in my head that assures me of bumping into you on a subway station, you are my dearest friend because i care for

1) i hope you never have to lose your closest people. 2) i hope you never take someone you love for granted because that is when two people fall apart. 3) i hope you never have to part ways with your childhood best friend because there should be someone in everyone's life who will remind them of their school days. 4) i hope you never have to feel hesitation in talking to someone with whom you once spent hours talking to. 5)  i hope you always hold yourself accountable for the words you use for someone. 6) i hope you know the secret behind long lasting beautiful friendships is a simple sorry and lot of understanding. 7) i hope you always choose your words wisely. 8) i hope you dont contribute to the hatred of this world. 9) i hope you know that people who end up crying while explaining themselves have hit their lowest, please be gentle to them. 10) i hope you know there is a difference between sympathy and empathy. I hope you choose the second one over the first. 11) i hope you know

Hey, today one of my most closest friend called me " selfish " and in a moment, i fell down, deeper into self guilt, wondering, contemplating about all the things i do that makes me selfish. And the list started with you, my diary, how i only come to you when the turmoils within me don't settle down, or how i sneakily take away the leftover donut from the fridge without thinking about my sister, or how i stop someone from going back home just because i am scared of be left alone again, or how i take away the t.v remote from my dad just because i want to watch my favorite shows, or how i whine over a window seat when my friend takes over it, or how i only play my songs in a house party, or how i want my favorite people to watch my favorite movie with me, or how i sometimes burden people with my emotions.  There are people who will always make a home out of your heart, and you will keep them warm there, always protecting them, but sometimes i feel we overdo, we overfeel, we

The first feeling of love  The first feeling of excitement  The first feeling of friendship The first feeling of possessiveness  The first feeling of hurt The first feeling of missing someone  The first feeling of grief  The first feeling of romance  The first feeling of heartbreak  The first feeling of betrayal The first feeling of pain  The first feeling of sorrow The first feeing of loneliness  The first feeling of yearning  The first encounter will always be intense.  I remember my first love, it was like never before, the excitement of going to school, the hours spent in front of the mirror, the intensity will never match to any of the love i will have now.  The first feeling of romance was back in those school days, the slight brush of fingers, asking for an extra pen and shying over his name when called with mine. My first heartbreak, it felt like the whole world will shatter down, it felt like that night will never get over, it felt like i will never be fine again, it felt l

" Har yaad mai teri yaad hai Tu na hoke bhi mere pas hai Maine sab kuch bhula diya  Magar yaado ko bhi hum yaad hai " Every memory has your memory  You are not here but you're still here with me I have forgotten everything  But memories still remember us  I've burnt the heap of letters i wrote to you, i have met a new lover in my life to forget you, i have visited places where we never went together, i worked day and night and earned reputation and fame among my people, i stopped seeing familiar faces and never opened my diaries to write about you but then where did it all go wrong?  I am here writing about you, it's not midnight, it's scorching bright afternoon  Missing someone is like wanting to hear them, how does your voice sound now? Is that old bakery near the downtown still your escape destination? Do you still delete texts that you send? Do you still sing the wrong lyrics with full pride?, do you still have that folder full of my pictures or have you d