taking over your habits

I'm taking over your habits
Since the day you've left 
Like cigarettes left untouched in my trousers 
Like sleeping with three pillows, with one on my face
Like sketching naked bodies
Like screaming my lungs out when a random song plays
Like clicking on youtube ads and reporting them unnecessarily 
Weirdly i am doing it all
Weirdly i am not even aware of that

How are you? 
How am i? If you only ask, then i'll say, its blue, its blue here, and little grey too as the smoke doesn't leave my room, probably because i forgot to open the windows before i lit my cigarette

I'm ordering food from swiggy at midnight, i am still awake and it's 3. Life is unstable, but i am fine. 

Chucked my old car keys
Swallowed chunks of bread with milk
Wore the tshirt you gave me
Listened to the playlist we made
Forgot to tie my shoe laces
I fell hard on ground 

Weird falling patterns 
Resembling to yours

Diaries all inked
Friendship bands in bin
Promises rotting in a corner
Days passing by,
Nights colder
Forgetting is hard 
Struggling to survive 
I told you once, i want us to stay
Still you left 

Hearts all broken
Weaved with lies
Patience is a game
I am losing again
I once said i'll not wait this time
But i am waiting again





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

september

Image
Somedays i am scrolling through my feed and see your name, sometimes i am passing down the lanes and hear your name, some nights i am struggling with sleep and listening to songs in your playlist . This world is nothing more than the amalgamation of people of different kinds, different faces, different blood groups, but having similar names as yours.  My heart has always been a darkhole of feelings it couldn't confess and for long i have held onto words, emotions and feelings until it started to feel like a loop around my neck. I feel to be able to speak how you feel is still an art, and only some writers have got this. The rest like me are all sobbing in a corner of this world writing down these pages that we'll never accept it to be more than a mere fiction if ever get caught.  The world is a playground my love, with numerous small segregations stated as different countries and these countries have further divisions into cities and in between all these partitions, we are just
Read more

letter to Ashaz

Image
To Ashaz, Ashaz, it is heavily raining here and i feel like you have visited this city. Rain has always reminded me of you. This city is haunting me  because it's too peaceful without you. Ashaz you told me that your name means, " one in million " and now it upsets me since you've gone because i feel i can't ever find someone like you because there's noone like you.  I was passing by this flowershop yesterday and it reminded me of you. You have left the city but left behind the reminders to keep reminding me of you. Ashaz your name is the sweetest melody ever my voice has sung. Before your name, i have always hated my voice.  Ashaz, i told you, i'm leaving this city tomorrow but it feels like i'll be carrying you with me. This life is so short, when we were together, time slipped by us and now that we are far, i don't know what to do, time is still slipping by and looks like my life will be over soon and perhaps i won't be able to see you for t
Read more

growing up, adulthood

Image
Wherever i am right now, it's so peaceful here. My head is in a calm place and i can really feel my breaths. When i sleep, i no longer count on sheeps, i fall in my bed, and i open my eyes the next morning.  As you grow up, you get tired of drama.  Then, you just want genuine things, honest people and bright moments. As i grew up, i just wanted real people, people who would choose me again and again. I didn't want to get into a cat fight over a guy, i didn't want to lose my sleep over someone all night, i didn't want to argue over something where i just wished to be understood, i didn't want to seek validation, i didn't want to hide, i didn't want to complain, i didn't want to wait for someone who perhaps may never come back, i didn't want to beg someone to stay, i didn't want to write letters to someone i love because i was petrified of them using it against me, i didn't want to trust someone blindly, i didn't want to take confessions s
Read more