Flipping through the pages of my diary

Ashaz, some places never grow old. I was walking down the lanes today where we walked together once five years back. Everything is same here, the streets are still cracked in the same places where they were before. Now flowers grow through these cracks as bandages to it. Nothing has diminished its light, nothing has taken away our presence. We are there in the air of these places, as you have always been in me for years. In these places, our memories have been preserved in the hope that we'll cross paths again some day. I think old places grieve over us, I think letters burnt in rage screams at us for leaving each other. But i think that's how it is now that when it rains, we look up and admire each other, i think that's how it is now that no matter where we are, we look behind at each other fondly. I think that's how we realize that the world never stops when two people separates and so we must also keep going on. Ashaz the world has always been like this. It makes us ...

I think i have written enough for everyone i loved, i embraced pain bravely and so somedays i was so proud of that, i even overenjoyed my racing heart and the butterflies in my belly.  I wrote, i scrapped, i burnt every word in love, grief, and agony. Poets can create poetry, poets can deface them too. But there's no big poet than this heart, because it doesn't forget, it doesn't erode, it only creates poetry sometimes in love, sometimes in missing, sometimes in rage but all it does is to remember everyone more than my head. I want to be someone's poetry No, no  dont dedicate me one from books and letters of old lovers of 80's and 90's  Write me one Know about my skin, know about me, my name, my smile and the curves of my body, know how my eyes lit up in dark, know me when i overthink, know me when i ride my bike, know me when i play my playlist, know me when i lay bare in bed, know me when my eyes cry, know me when my pens can't write, know me when i only h...

There's this thing i seem to can't escape, i try my best, i do everything,  work hard, work harder but still stumble upon your name. There are people who left but their ghosts are still here around me talking to me in my head. Sometimes I want to run away, pack my bags, change my documents, passport, name, address, phone number and go to a new city where i won't speak the same language, where i won't hear your name, where your ghosts won't find me. How astonishing it would be to have a restart button in our head. I don't want to remember anyone. I don't know how but  everytime my head thinks, my heart aches.. Life every day here in my city is just ordinary without you.  You were that extra behind my ordinary life. Now that you're gone, the sun still shines, the ocean still sparkles, the stars still blinks,  the breeze still flows, the trees still grows , the flowers still blooms, the sky still rains, the earth still moves, the gravity still works, the mo...

Shruti I feel you will never be this young again, but you can always be young at heart. Life is so short, every moment is fleeting by your side and i don't want you to grieve over your memories, rather i want you to live fully every single day, every moment at your best.  I want you to have fun, and not to be too much immersed in sadness. Everything passes by, and this phase will too regardless of how happy or sad this phase is.  Shruti i think life goes on and this is one of the biggest lessons of my life. We can't control life, or what happens to us. Sometimes things don't go as we wish, sometimes people we want the most leaves us in dark. But that is life, it happens, and nothing stops, the clock keeps on ticking, days turns into nights,  seasons changes, and life goes on. But take your time, heal, fight and stand again. I also want you to know it's okay to not run in the marathon of life. We can just walk sometimes. It's all okay!! The goal of life shouldn't...

For these winters, i want my world to be painted in yellow color. Lighter and darker strokes of it everywhere around me. For these winters i want my heart to be safe, please just safe. I always believed that there's this canvas in everyones heart, painted with different colors depicting different stories. Mine has been pink, red, and blue lately. But I want my slate to be clean. I dont want any color on it anymore, i dont want any stains. I want it to feel just safe these winters. No more stories, no more vibrant colors, leave it just white, let it be innocent again. It has witnessed enough of this world. Let it be naive once again to trust people. let it be plain, let the colors be white please, i want to feel safe, i only want to feel safe. Yellow has been my favorite color. It's warm, it calms my heart, it makes me feel safe, it is bright, it is peaceful, it is that feeling of being at home, it is like a friend to me. I can stare at it for long hours and fall asleep in its p...