how is it december already?

And i know i wanted this year to end so desperately but now as the end is so near, i am not ready. My body is stained in love, war, pain, hate and grief. I have so much to hold onto, i have so much to let go of. I'm shivering, i am dressed so warm!

December feels like a cold goodbye,  doomsday, judgment, justice, betrayal, grief, separation, long distance, longings, past and memories that i only want to forget. 

I see December like him standing on the door, all prepared, bags packed, ready to leave me behind. There's this thing about December, it was always ready to leave, but it never seemed to ask me even once if i am ready yet to let it go or not. 

December resembles to him, my sweet early youth romance that ended in a blink of eye, December reminds me of eating cotton candy, that  melts so fast, December reminds me of transition, forgiveness and moving on.

It's December and in next 2 hours, it will be Christmas. I will bake cookies, i will make hot chocolate, i will dance in my kitchen, and sleep all day tomorrow. Tonight i will sit by the fire place, color my picture book, and i will also try forget everyone i lost, and i will miss them a little too. December gets colder when you have people to miss. 

Merry Christmas to everyone in advance. I hope you celebrate it with all your loved ones and have noone to miss.

Comments

  1. Anonymous24 December 2023 at 23:17

    Merry Christmas dear ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  2. 11MDoN113 January 2024 at 04:50

    Every single line I read from your blogs gives me mixed feelings, Each time I'm about to finish the post it get me into a haze and it makes me overthinking. . . I actually love that feeling I get because it makes me really feel what the true feelings means. All love and I hope that you enjoyed the Christmas. ♡⁠

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous3 January 2024 at 20:22

      Hey, i hope you are doing good. I am not able to find your gmail. Do hit me up there. Sorry i was unable to reply to you back. I lost it!!

      Delete

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