childhood, aging and माँ

I am watching Yashub ( 5 years old kid ) playing in the yard all by himself, i am watching his childhood slipping into days. I see myself in him, all my childhood days are now just barely the recollected memories of my early youth. It's all gone in the mist air. In summers, when i hear the tintinnabulation of wind chimes and voice of ice cream vendors selling ice cream, i get lured by those days that are already gone. I think of maa, how we would split peas sitting in the shed of the Mulberry tree in our backyard. I wonder about those days that have lost it's calmness in the honking of today's vehicles and era of instant messages. Back in those days, human connections really mattered to us and were also so strong. Now we have internet and so many people on our fingertips, we have lost human connections or perhaps made too many that not even one is strong.

Back in those days, i had someone who would ask me if i had eaten or not, i long for her. Yesterday i was reading Scrhrodinger's cat experiment or Many World's Hypothesis which talks about existence of a parallel world. I wonder if there, i am still a kid of age 5, sulking in front of my mom for cutting the watermelon all by myself. I wonder if maa is still there nagging at me to tie my shoe laces before going to play. I miss everything. 

Growing up feels like losing so many people who once meant world to me. There will always be people, places, televison shows, food, memories that will remind me of my people. Life has always been changing but this longing for you maa will always be the same. 

They say, you realize everything your mother went through when you, yourself become a mother, but i dont want to become a mother, i always want to be this kid by my mother's side. Aging looks so sad, wish nothing grows old, nothing grows distant.

There's no home like you, i look for you        everywhere, in everyone

                                                     — maa ( माँ )

  image from the instagram @peopleiveloved